Of Dingoes and Didgeridoos
by The pH alchemist
Summary: As if they didn't learn from Scotland...Steve decides to take the team on another vacation abroad, this time to Australia. Antics ensue. In the same 'verse as "Of Highland Cows and Haggis"
1. Jet Lag and Roundabouts

**Welcome to my latest installment in the Avengers fandom! I'm making this a sequel to my one shot series "Of Highland Cows and Haggis", but I'm publishing this under all one name as several chapters. This is inspired by my summer trip to Australia this year, which was lovely, I'd suggest going sometime, though getting there was a real pain, it took us 2 days to get there .** **So I guess now, without further ado, I present Of Dingoes and Didgeridoos (Note: this is set in the same 'verse as my other Avengers stories, just so there's no confusion)** **Disclaimer: I'm only doing this once, so let's go: I don't own the Avengers, all the names of people and companies have been changed for privacy issues, and yeah. Enjoy!**

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As Steve stepped out of the airport, the only thing he could think of was how _long_ that flight had been. They departed the LA airport at 11 pm on a Saturday, flew in darkness for 16 hours, _16 hours_, and arrived in Cairns at 6:30 Monday morning. Trying to figure out the time change was giving him a headache, one he didn't need on top of the jet lag.

The seven Avengers stumbled, tired, out of the Cairns airport and towards the rental car lot, dragging their suitcases behind them. Tony's head nodded and he tripped over his feet, waking him up for the next few steps, then his head nodded again. Natasha's hair was in all directions from sleeping on the plane. All in all, they looked like they just walked off the set of the Walking Dead.

Everyone was glaring at Steve. It was _his _idea, after all, to go on this trip, since the one to Scotland had been such a great experience. _He _thought it was a great experience, at least.

"Every time I stand still, I feel like I'm still moving." Clint complained.

"That's what 16 hours on a plane will do to you." Bruce replied, his glasses slipping off his face.

They entered the rental car lot, and Steve walked inside and dropped off their confirmation.

"The man said we could pick anything in the third row." Steve said, pointing.

"We're getting the red one." Tony said immediately.

"No, I'm not riding in that." Natasha replied. "It's too small. We'll take the black one."

"But that's not in our row." Clint pointed out. "How about the silver one."

"I agree with Clint, we must take the silver one." Thor replied, his voice less booming than usual.

"Will you please make up your minds, I got no sleep on that plane and I will not tolerate much arguing." Loki said, agitated. The turbulence had kept him awake the entire ride. Even Steve had a hard time getting comfortable.

"Ok, as Captain, I am making an executive decision-"

"If we are pulling rank, I believe that me being a prince outranks you." Thor pointed out. "Therefore, I am making an 'executive decision' and saying we take the silver one."

Natasha won out, but only because she was elected to drive. Well, more like forced to by Tony, who whined about the possibility of him falling asleep at the wheel. Regardless of that, Tony called shotgun.

"Woah, the steering wheel is on the other side." Tony said as he opened the left side door to find the passenger seat.

Natasha stood behind him. "Yes, Australia and most of the rest of the world drive on the left side of the road. Now hop in."

Navigating out of the airport was easy, there wasn't anywhere else to go but to the main highway. But once on the highway…

"Tony, pull out the map and make yourself useful." Natasha said. "I have no idea where we're going."

"The Sea Breeze hotel in Palm Cove." Steve recited. "We have some really nice rooms there, and it's only about an hour from the reef."

"That really doesn't help me right now, Steve." Natasha replied.

Tony had pulled out a map from his backpack and unfolded it. "Ok, there should be a roundabout up ahead, take the second exit that says 'Mareeba'."

"But we're not going to Mareeba until later this afternoon." Clint mentioned. "Nat, pull over, let me navigate."

"Hey bird brain, I can do it just as well as you can." Tony retorted. "I drew out our route on the plane, it's right."

Natasha rolled her eyes, but took the second exit anyways. Tony turned on the radio, searching for a station.

"Come on baby, I'm in the home of AC/DC, someone's gotta be playing it." Tony muttered as he turned the dial on the radio. Finally, he found what he was looking for. He smiled smugly and turned up the volume. Steve closed his eyes and sighed. Hopefully it wouldn't wake Bruce, who was sleeping in his seat in the second row. Clint was next to him. Steve was in the back, sandwiched between Thor and Loki, Loki having passed out as soon as they got in the car.

"Next roundabout Tony, where to?" Natasha asked.

"First exit, towards Townsville." Tony said, beating out a drum solo.

"Townsville is way west of where we want to go." Clint pointed out. "We should take the exit that says Daintree."

"Taking the first exit." Natasha said and turned down it.

After an hour, they hadn't hit another street. Something was wrong.

"Hey Tony, where are we?" Clint asked. "Did we, I don't know, take the wrong exit?"

"Look, I mapped it all out, see? Right here. First exit." Tony replied, shoving the map into the back seat to show Clint.

"Tony, this route is junk! Were you high when you made this?"

"I was up 38,000 feet above the Pacific, yeah."

And that is how the epic battle between Clint and Tony started.

"My navigation is so much more professional than yours."

"Are you kidding? Mine drives circles around yours."

"GIRLS I AM PULLING OVER RIGHT NOW AND BOTH OF YOU WILL SIT IN THE BACK!" Natasha shouted and pulled over. "Steve, get up here."

Steve unbuckled his seatbelt and hopped out of the car, stretching his legs. Tony was mumbling something as he handed Steve the map.

"Hold on, let me figure out where we are…" Steve unfolded the map, found their location easily, and plotted a counter route. "Just turn around, then take the first exit to your left on the roundabout. If you just keep going straight after that, we should reach Palm Cove in about 40 minutes."

"Thank you, someone who knows what they're doing." Natasha sighed and turned the car around.

_Forty Minutes later:_

The Avengers pulled up, travel weary, to the Sea Breeze hotel. Parking the car, the tumbled out and grabbed their suitcases, walking into the open lobby of the hotel.

The rooms were assigned, and they plodded towards the elevator with the promise of sleep. They had two rooms. Steve, Tony, and Bruce, and Thor, Loki, Clint, and Natasha. Steve opened the door to their hotel room and walked inside.

The room was huge, with a large open living space and kitchen looking out to a covered balcony. There were two bedrooms and two bathrooms, and the view was spectacular. Steve set down his suitcase next to one of the beds and walked out onto the balcony.

_I have a feeling that this will be a great trip._ Steve thought. _I wonder how long it will last_.

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**Well? I hope you enjoyed, there is much more to come for our heroes.** **Please drop me a review if you would be so kind**


	2. White Waves and Orange Coral

**...or why seasickness is for the sharks. ** **This one goes out to all those who get motion sick, I feel you. Enjoy**

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On a cool and relatively cloudy Tuesday, our seven heroes waited calmly on a dock in Port Douglas for a boat to take them out to the Great Barrier Reef. The boat, called the SilverMaster, was advertised as being a 90 foot motor vessel with two levels, outside seating, and a working kitchen. Steve had read about the reef while putting together the tour, and figured, since it was the largest living thing visible from space, the group should check it out. And what better way than to spend a day snorkeling?

Now, granted, forcing the Avengers, while on a vacation, I might add, to wake up at 6:30 as to allow time for breakfast and the hour plus drive it took to get there in order to meet a boat at 8:30 for a day long adventure was not something Steve was looking forward to. Regardless, the heroes seemed excited for the trip, and because of the jet lag they had been up for hours anyways.

Two crew members walked down the dock and opened the boat up to passengers. After getting a photo taken by one of the staff, the Avengers waited in line to board.

"Seasickness pills, don't forget them!" A crew member was shouting. "We have 20 knot winds today, the surf is choppy. Better to prevent than to cure, I always say."

Clint said nothing but grabbed a fistful of the Dramamine and ginger pills and stuffed them in his bag before boarding. He then sat down in one of the first tables available.

"Come on, Clint, let's sit up top." Tony said, pointing up the stairs.

"The most stable part of the boat is the lower back, and that is where I intend to stay." Clint replied. Bruce nodded, realizing Clint's choice.

"Motion sickness, huh?" He asked.

"Wait, you get seasick?" Tony asked. "The master assassin has a _weakness_?"

Clint shrugged. "Can't help it. As the lady on the dock said, better to prevent than to cure."

"Take one of the Dramamine now, and look straight ahead." Bruce suggested. "Then take a ginger pill each hour. Hopefully it will be sunnier out in the ocean. Tony, let's just sit here." Tony pouted but took the backwards seat at the table.

Steve looked around the boat, taking in the surroundings. It may not have looked large from the outside, but the inside definitely made up the room. There were open sofas in the middle making a seating area, and the other seats all surrounded tables. A small kitchen area was to the right, now serving breakfast and hot drinks for pay, but would serve lunch to all at noon.

The skipper came over the loudspeaker and announced departure, saying they should reach the Agincourt reef system in about 2 hours.

It only took Clint 40 minutes to get sick.

"Just keep looking straight." Natasha told him, rubbing his back. "Take a ginger pill."

"If I even _look _at food I think I'll hurl." Clint said, groaning.

"Don't go in the bathroom, the enclosed space will make it worse." Bruce instructed. "Drink some water."

Clint waved it away and put his head down on the table. "How much longer?"

"We don't get back to Port Douglas until 4:30." Steve said. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"When the boat stops he should be better." Natasha informed the group.

Clint managed to last the remainder of the ride out. The boat slowed to a stop, and a crew member passed out wetsuits.

"The water is about 24 Celsius, or 72 Fahrenheit for the Yanks, the shorties should be enough for you." The lead crew member explained. "All those diving please make your way to the rear of the boat, snorkelers, stay up here with me."

"Ooo, Steve, you never mentioned they had diving, too." Tony said. "I got my license back in the 80s, we should all get certified."

A crew member had overheard Tony's remark and approached them. "Well, there's not much I can do for you now, but at the next site I can put you in with the intro divers." He said. "Are any of you certified?"

"I am, but I'm not sure about the others." Tony said, pointing to his friends.

"Wonderful, we can get you all briefed and equipped before we leave, then you can go out."

"Go without me." Clint mumbled, tired of his sickness.

"A bit sick, are we? Once you get into the water, it all goes away, I promise. My name is Tim, I'm the lead divemaster on the boat. You don't feel a thing underwater."

It took Natasha the entire stop to convince Clint to come out of his shell, but he did, and the two of them sat at the top of the boat looking out at the snorkelers, trying to spot their friends.

"I think Tony's the one with the red snorkel." Clint said, pointing to a group of swimmers and chewing on an ice cube a crew member had given him to relieve his sickness.

"No no, they're all over there." Natasha said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Are you blind? They went off West, they're over there."

Suddenly, a glaringly loud horn sounded from right behind them, causing them to jump.

"That's the all aboard." The skipper said on the loudspeaker. "We'll be at our next destination in about 10 minutes. Will all the divers please report to the lower deck, thank you."

"I guess that's us." Natasha said and went inside. "You coming? The divemaster said it's better under the water."

Clint sighed. "Fine...ok, I'll try it."

"That's my big boy." Natasha teased, causing Clint to shove her with his shoulder on the way inside.

As the boat was pulling up to the second location, the seven Avengers were sitting in the back of the boat strapped to scuba equipment.

"Hello, I'm Carrie, I'll be your divemaster for this dive." Carrie standing, unfazed by the cold wind, in front of the bench of intro divers. She had just gone over what each thing did and how to use it properly. "Since we are all newbies to the sport, we won't be diving any deeper than 8 meters. But don't worry, it's enough to see everything. Alright, let's review. Your regulator is on your...?"

"Right side." The benchgoers replied monotonously.

"The BC inflator is on your...?"

"Left side."

"Wonderful. Remember, if someone flashes an 'ok' sign, you answer back. Thumbs up is not 'ok', it's 'go up'. Now, put your arms through your BCs and tighten the BC to your chest. Put your flippers on, then your mask. We'll help you stand up when you're ready."

Steve fumbled a bit with his BC, shooting looks at Tony, who had done his up with ease. Around came Tim, helping everyone to stand and form a line.

"We will giant stride of the back of the boat." He explained, nearing the edge. "It's about a meter's drop into the water, so not far. Make sure your mask is secure, your regulator is in your mouth, and your BC is slightly inflated. If you have a problem with weighting we'll fix it in the water. Hold your right hand over your face, securing your regulator and mask, hold your left hand across your chest, take a big step, and fall. It's easy. Who's first?"

Carrie jumped in first, gave the 'ok' sign, and kicked away from the boat. Tony was next, his entry was flawless. Natasha and Clint entered next, then Bruce. Thor was tugging at his wetsuit, they didn't have a big enough one to accommodate for his musculature. Loki had insisted on renting an underwater camera for the dive. At last, it was Steve's turn, he was bringing up the rear. Running through the checklist in his head, he fitted his regulator in his mouth, took a breath, and stepped off the boat.

As he hit the water, his mask flew back, filling his nose with water and blinding him. He thrashed around, but bobbed to the surface because of his BC.

"Mask a bit loose?" Carrie asked, swimming over to him. Steve gasped and tugged it off his face. "Just tighten it a bit...there." The mask fit a bit better now. Tim gave the 'ok' sign, and Steve repeated it.

"Ok, we're going down now, everyone go at their own pace." Carrie instructed. "If you won't sink, wave your hand sideways and I'll come help. If your ears or nose start to hurt, ascend a bit, clear your ears how I told you to, then try again. You will all make it down there, no rush, the reef isn't going anywhere."

"See ya suckers at the bottom!" Tony shouted, lifted up the BC inflator, and disappeared beneath the waves.

Steve pushed his regulator against his mouth for safety, and deflated his BC. The waves soon started to crash over his head, and he was under the water. Turning around, he gasped. Snorkeling had been a treat, but you were still far away, disconnected. Under the water, the reef was right in front of you, on all sides. As he reached the bottom, fish swam around him, and, was that a turtle? Carrie pointed at it and placed both hands on top of each other, the symbol for turtle. A large green sea turtle swam above them, heading towards shallower waters. Carrie flashed the 'ok', waited for a response, and took off swimming.

They were down there for 40 minutes. They saw two sharks, three turtles, schools of fish, and snapped 200 photos. Natasha got to hold a sea cucumber, Bruce got to touch a giant clam, and Tony held a starfish.

They came back to the boat for lunch and signed up for another dive at the third and final site. The day seemed to fly after that. When the time came to return to port, the Avengers were all napping on the couches, worn out from their adventure.

And Clint didn't complain about being sick the entire time.

Epilogue:

"That's a horrible picture of me." Natasha remarked. The Avengers were sitting in the lobby of their hotel viewing all of Loki's pictures.

"We all looked terrible, Nat." Clint said. "It looks like Loki got me mid sneeze."

"Did you see the one of me with the starfish?" Tony asked.

"One must not forget the small orange fish in the wavy coral." Thor pointed out.

"Heh, we found Nemo in Australia, how cute. We're watching that movie tonight, I'll have JARV stream it to the TV."

Loki hit the 'next' button on the camera, and a group photo showed up. After the first dive, Tim agreed to take a photo of the seven of them. They had goggle marks on their faces, snot on their noses, and Loki's and Thor's hair were a mess, but the smile they all had was what made Steve happy he made them take this trip.

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**Did you like? Let me know in a review**


	3. Interlude 1: To Yulara

**Our first interlude, this is just a small transition to give some background**

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"How many plane rides do we have on this trip?" Loki asked Steve, who was seated next to him.

"Including the flights to and from Australia...9."

A look of dismay crossed Loki's face for a second, then he looked back out the window.

The only way to get anywhere in Australia is by plane, and unfortunately, they were also long flights. Almost over their jet lag, the Avengers set out early Saturday morning for a three hour flight to Ayers Rock. The small Qantas jet they boarded had two by three seating all the way back. Clint, Natasha, and Bruce sat in the row next to Thor and Tony. Loki had sat down in the aisle seat behind Thor, and Steve took the window.

A light breakfast had been served, which some of the group had declined, and they were on their way.

Steve loved looking out the window and seeing the landscape change beneath him. From Cairns, they circled around over the ocean then headed inland over some small mountains. What they saw on their ride in the Kuranda Skyrail was nothing compared to what he was seeing now. After an hour, the landscape became more flat and sparse, before the ground became red. They were in the outback.

Tony and Bruce were singing a medley of Men at Work songs, and somehow Midnight Oil snuck its way into it. That's when Clint started singing and the flight attendant had to intervene.

The next hour passed without any problem. Steve kept an eye out the window, looking for Ayer's Rock, or Uluru, as the locals called it. Suddenly, out in the distance, he could see something. A large mesa rock thing jutting out from the ground. Not wanting to miss anything, Steve whipped out his camera and started snapping pictures.

"I don't think that's it." Loki said, following Steve's gaze. "It's not grand enough."

"We're really high up, maybe it's bigger on the ground..." Steve trailed off as the plane overtook the mesa. Now, looming in the distance, was a large rock, much larger than the mesa. "No, that's it." He said, pointing to the red rock. "Are you kidding me? I just wasted 68 photos on some stupid rock?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have started our descent into Yulara," The pilot said, "if you look out the left side you can see Uluru, or Ayers Rock. Quite a beauty, definitely hike around it if you've got the time."

The group looked at Steve. "Yes, we have all day today to hike around it, and tomorrow we'll hike around another rock formation called Kata-Tjuta before flying out to Sydney." Steve explained

"We have to suffer on a plane again _tomorrow_?" Loki asked, before groaning and resting his head on the seat in front of him.

Steve ignored him for now.

They landed smoothly and boarded a bus to the rock.

_The trip is half way over_, Steve thought as the bus stopped for pictures, _let's hope our luck holds out._

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**If you hate flying in planes and you know it, leave a review (****_review, review)_**


	4. Hindsight is 20:20

**One of the things I love about doing these tours is that you're always engaged, always seeing stuff, never bored. Sometimes, however, that can be really taxing...**

**I dedicate this to all those affected by the recent hostage crisis in Sydney, my thoughts go out to them and their families and I hope everyone returns safely**

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Steve put another piece of pizza on his plate. At this rate, they would have to order another pie, and the waitstaff already wasn't pleased by Thor's eating habits.

Gazing out the window, he took in the Sydney skyline. Lights illuminated the bridge they just finished climbing and the opera house they toured behind it.

"You know," Tony piped up, "for being superheroes and fighting aliens and stuff, you'd think we'd be able to keep going for a while, but noooo."

"If you won't eat that, I will." Clint said, pointing to the slice Tony was neglecting on his plate.

Tony slammed his hand down over the pizza and hissed "mineeeeee"

Natasha had already downed four cups of coffee, Steve didn't want to see what that would do to her later, and Bruce had eaten an entire family sized salad.

What made the Avengers so hungry, you ask?

While planning the day, way way way way way 8 months ago, Steve saw an advertisement for the Sydney Harbor Bridge Climb. It looked sweet, but he had already filled up the two days in Sydney. With a deft show of organization, Steve flipped around the Opera House tour for the other day and squeezed in the bridge tour on the last day. However, their surf lesson at Bondi Beach was also on that day.

_We can handle it._ Steve thought. _How much work can surfing be?_

Very hard, Steve, very hard.

When he woke up that morning, Steve prayed for the rain to stop. It didn't. He prayed for the temperature to warm up from its current 5 degrees Celsius. It didn't.

At the How About Surfing surf shop, they were given two wetsuits to wear because of the water, but at that point, Steve had lost feeling in his feet, so it didn't matter anymore. Hopping across the cold, wet sand, they were given boards and a rudimentary surfing lesson. Tony volunteered to go first, and he sat on his board and was pulled out by one of the staff. Steve bit his lip as the wave overtook Tony as Tony attempted to stand. He ended up flying backwards off his board, crashing into the wave behind him.

Everyone laughed, even Steve.

One by one, they were all dragged out and let loose. No one made it up the first time. They were allowed to go out now on their own, staying in waist-deep water.

"Last one to stand buys dinner." Clint shouted as he swam out. And that's when hell broke loose. Everyone was trying their hardest to stand, and if they fell, they raced back out into the surf to try again.

"Damn, I can't seem to get the hang of this." Steve muttered to himself. He glanced over at Natasha, the first one to stand up. She seemed like a natural as she rode into shore.

At least he may still be safe, Thor couldn't seem to grasp the concept either. Steve just saw him flip off the front of his board and face-plant into the sand.

"Hey Clint, you wanna rethink your bet?" Tony asked as he, standing on his board, zoomed by Clint, who had wiped out for the fourth time.

"What are you doing standing around?" One of the surf instructors asked Steve. He pointed at himself, just to make sure the instructor was addressing him. "Yes, you, come out, I see a good wave for ya." Steve waded over to the young woman and mounted his board. She pulled him out and spun him around. "Remember what I said about taking your time, you'll get it." She turned around to find the wave, and bit her lip. Steve tensed, he didn't like the fact that the instructor was nervous about this.

"Ok, here it comes, go, go, go!" She shouted and pushed Steve forward.

Steve focused on the shore, lifted his body up, placed his feet, and slowly, cautiously, righted himself.

"HAHAHA! I have done it!" He shouted triumphantly as he rode the wave onto the beach. Bruce came up and gave him a high-five. Steve was shaking from the adrenaline. "That was super cool, I'm going out again!" Steve dragged his board into the water and waded out.

They were out there for almost four hours, and in that time there was a clear loser of Clint's bet: Thor. They took lunch at the RSL club across the street and dried off and warmed up.

"I need a shower." Natasha remarked. "A nice, warm, shower."

"You'll have to hurry, our bridge climb tour is at three, and we need to be there a half an hour before." Steve explained.

Natasha wasn't pleased, but she met the deadline. The seven Avengers boarded a cab for the Sydney Harbor Bridge.

At the time of their tour, they were ushered into a briefing room where they were instructed how to put on the equipment. Each of them were given a harbor bridge jumpsuit, a windbreaker, a fleece (which they would need), a beanie, and a souvenir cap. At the last stop before the beginning, they were outfitted with headphones and a radio so they could listen to their guide.

"Hello, I'm Aaron." Their guide said and waved. "You're the only group for this tour, so we'll be heading out momentarily. I need to fit you with your harness, which won't take long, then we'll strap into the bridge and we'll be on our way."

The tour started innocently enough, they weren't very high off the ground and there wasn't much to see. Aaron told them about why they built the bridge and when it was built and how much it cost, etc. Then they left the bowels and entered the main frame.

Up and up they climbed along the arch. Aaron stopped them half way.

"Cool story I usually tell guests up here." Aaron started. "When the bridge was being built, some workers fell to their deaths into the harbor. One man, while working at this height, was supposedly pushed off. During his fall, he undid his toolbelt and pulled out his largest wrench, throwing it at the water. It hit the surface before him broke his fall. The man suffered only a broken rib."

"Fascinating." Loki replied.

"I actually feel like testing that." Tony said. Bruce just shook his head.

After another 40 minutes or so, they had reached the top. The rain had started up again, but the view was never the less spectacular. Aaron pulled out a camera, the only one allowed a camera, and started snapping photos of them with the Opera House in the distance.

The climb down was easy, and soon they were back in the safety of the building.

"Friend Steve," Thor said as they left with their photos, "I require much sustenance after our adventure today."

"You said it big guy." Clint replied. "I could eat a whale."

"How about sushi?" Loki asked.

"How about something totally greasy and unhealthy?" Tony asked.

They settled for pizza.


	5. Interlude 2: The Tim Tam Slam

**If you've never had Tim Tams, you haven't lived. If you've never had a Tim Tam slam, you're really missing out**

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Tim Tams. Steve had come across them before on the trip in a convenience store in Sydney. But he'd never tried one before.

Now here, in the small lodge in Freycinet National Park in Tasmania, did he finally decide to eat one. They were small, chocolate wafers coated in chocolate. Reaching for the platter in the buffet line, he put two on his plate and moved on.

"You want to try something really cool?" A young waitress, Brittany, asked Steve. "It's a bit of a tradition in Australia with the Tim Tams."

"Sure." Steve shrugged. If it was a local tradition, then why not?

"Pour a hot beverage, coffee, tea, whatever works." Brittany instructed. Steve poured himself some chamomile tea. "Now you have to bite off opposite corners of the Tim Tam, like so." She picked a Tim Tam from the platter, and took off one corner, then the opposite one. "Finally, you put the Tim Tam into the drink, and suck the liquid up through the cookie until you can taste it. Then quickly, you shove the entire cookie in your mouth and enjoy!" Brittany poured a cup of coffee, placed her cookie in it, made a sucking motion with her mouth, then stuffed it. She smiled, her cheeks full of the melted cookie.

Steve followed Brittany's instructions and example. When he ate the cookie, it was like heaven. The chocolate was warm and gooey, and the cracker had absorbed some of the tea, adding flavor. When he swallowed, he grabbed enough Tim Tams for his friends, thanked Brittany for introducing him to this amazing tradition, and ran off to tell the other Avengers.

"Guys, guys, you _have_ to try this!" Steve practically shouted. "It's called a Tim Tam slam, everyone needs to try it."

Before the others could protest, Steve put a Tim Tam on each of their plates.

"Go get some tea or coffee or something warm." Steve instructed. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

The others were very disturbed by Steve's actions. He never got excited about anything, not even Supernatural. Nevertheless, they figured if Steve is this happy about it, it must be good. They got up and grabbed a mug of something hot and returned to the table.

"Great, now you need to bite off opposite ends of the cookie, like this." Steve did so, the others mirroring him. "Now use it as a straw to suck up the liquid in your cup. As you start to taste the liquid, shove the cookie in your mouth. It's totally delicious!" And Steve shoved the Tim Tam in his mouth. He thought it was good the first time, but this time, with coffee, was totally different. The coffee had a different flavor, and it melted the chocolate more. He had to experiment with other hot drinks.

"Mmmm, wow. This is good." Natasha said. "I'm getting another."

"I wonder what would happen if I used alcohol instead?" Tony wondered. Bruce facepalmed.

"This cookie, I like it...ANOTHER!" Thor shouted, and raced to the buffet line to grab more.

"Do they sell Tim Tams at home?" Clint asked. "Because I think we've found a new snack."

"I'll look when we get back." Steve said.

Loki covered his ears. "No, don't talk about leaving, we still have a few days."

"Yeah, what are we doing these last few days?" Clint asked. "We've been diving, hiking, surfing, bridge climbing, biking, zip lining, we went kayaking this morning, what's left?"

"Well, we drive into Hobart tomorrow, we'll stop along the way at some historic places."

"You mean like that lame log that we stopped to see in Campbell town?" Tony asked.

"No, if you must know, we are stopping at a historic bark mill, a winery, and a wildlife sanctuary." Steve replied.

"Oh, woo hoo, a bark mill." Tony said sarcastically. "Wake me up for the winery, though."

Steve rolled his eyes. "After that, we're going to shop at this market in Hobart, then drive down to Port Arthur and take a ghost tour. And Tony, Loki, _please_ don't turn this into that Edinburgh ghost tour, alright?"

Tony and Loki shared a look. "No promises."

"And that's our last night. We leave…" Steve sighed, "we leave at 4 am the next morning. Barring any delays, we should be back in New York at about 10:00 at night Sunday."

"After being gone for 2 weeks, I think home will be a welcome sight." Bruce concluded.

"So what happens if there are delays?" Tony asked.

"I don't even want to think about that." Steve replied. That's the _last_ thing he wanted to worry about.


	6. The Last Installment: Port Arthur

**Here we go, the culmination of their trip (or maybe I'll add an epilogue, maybe if you guys are nice). First of all, I'd like to say Port Arthur is totally haunted, I went in skeptic but came out a total believer, it was flippin crazy.** **Anyways, enjoy!**

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The past two weeks had been filled with many laughs, shouts, and photos, and it was all culminating in this last night. Steve found that Australia was, historically, a penal colony, and there were many famous prisons and asylums around the country. The worst one, he discovered, was Port Arthur, at the most southern part of Tasmania. What better way to end the trip than with a ghost tour and dinner in the haunted asylum?

Upon arrival, the Avengers made their way to the most logical place to begin their adventure, the gift shop. Tony noticed replica fetters and immediately took a selfie in them. Steve made his way over to the bookshelf and started perusing the shelves for anything that caught his interest. On a table to his left was a pile of books and some playing cards. The cover advertised for a 'Port Arthur Scavenger Hunt' involving the cards, and Steve was immediately interested.

Flipping through the book, he learned that each card represented a famous inmate, and if they were to go to the exhibit downstairs, they could follow their lives during their tenure at Port Arthur. Checking his watch, he discovered they had plenty of time to complete the hunt, and he purchased the book and a deck of cards.

"Ok, everyone needs to take a card." Steve instructed and fanned out the cards.

"Is that a trick deck?" Clint asked. "Those things are pretty sick."

"No, it's a scavenger hunt, take a card." One by one, all the Avengers pulled a card. "Now we need to go downstairs and follow the instructions in the book."

"Wait, what is this?" Bruce asked. "Don't we need to be somewhere soon?"

"We have an hour, it shouldn't take long. Each card represents an inmate, we can tour the exhibit downstairs and figure out the fate of each of our cards."

"Sounds fun." Natasha shrugged and headed for the stairs.

On the walls of the exhibit there were pictures of the cards. First, four corridors split up each of the suits.

"I have the 3 of diamonds." Tony said.

"6 of clubs." Bruce replied.

"Ace of spades." Natasha stated.

"I have the 2 of spades, what a pathetic card." Clint whined.

"I have what appears to be a man in a funny hat." Thor said, squinting at his card."

"That's a joker." Tony explained. "It's a wild card, you have to look for the one that looks like yours on the wall over there." Thor nodded.

"I have the jack of hearts." Loki said.

"And I have the king of clubs." Steve finished. "Alright, we can meet back here when we're all done."

Steve and Bruce both had the same suit, so they both went down the far left corridor. They entered a room with many hatches and were instructed to find their card. Steve flipped open the flap with the king on it.

His inmate had apparently been tried for murder.

_Wonderful,_ Steve thought.

He continued reading, then was instructed to head down the yellow hallway.

Bruce had already left, he went down the blue hallway. _I guess I'm alone now_. Steve thought and forged onward.

The next room was full of cutouts of logs and saws. As punishment, he was assigned to the lumber gang, forced to saw down trees and cut them up for lumber.

Travelling through the rooms, he found out his inmate was trained to be a surgeon, and was let loose after 35 years.

_This was very interesting, I'm glad we did this._

Suddenly, he heard Tony shout, "What the hell do you mean my guy died? He was the best of all of your guys'!"

Steve entered the next room over to find Tony waving his hands in his hair.

"So he gets dysentery and dies, what the hell kind of end is that?" Tony cried.

"At least your guy didn't murder five other inmates." Natasha deadpanned. "They looked the other way when the guards executed him."

"I do not understand, the wall writing claimed my man was crushed on the gang of chains, and I don't see how some rope of metal can come alive and maim prisoners...unless that is a thing here I don't know about." Thor mused.

Bruce shook his head. "The chain gang is a group of people all attached to one long fetter and made to do menial grunt work as punishment. It is likely he was moving a heavy material and was crushed by it, not by the chain itself."

"They should have you writing the words on the wall, for your explanation made much more sense."

Tony was still pissed. "Ok, how many of your guys' died in prison?"

Everyone's hand except Steve's and Loki's shot up.

"Well?" Tony inquired.

"My card was sent to Port Arthur for stealing a handkerchief and was let out 10 years later." Loki explained, then paused. "Quite a sentence for a petty thief."

"And captain spangles?"

Steve pursed his lips, he hated when Tony called him that. "My card was tried for murder and sent here, but his medical knowledge allowed him to be trained as a surgeon while incarcerated, and 35 years later they let him out for good service. Never heard from again."

"La-_ame_." Clint said. "My guy was a badass assassin who broke out 5 times, the 5th one for good. Went on a killing spree back in England and was sent here, did some more killings while here, then vanished." He said dramatically.

The alarm on Steve's watch beeped, signaling the start of the ghost tour.

"Alright, everyone outside, it's time for the tour." Steve said.

"Will it be long?" Thor asked. "I'm feeling near famished." Bruce tossed him a protein bar, which he quickly devoured.

"Ok, before we start, I think this needs to be said, no destruction of property, no crying ghost, and please, _please_ don't turn another teammate invisible so they can scare the life out of the tour guide." Steve directed the last phrase at Tony and Loki, who were trying not to smile.

When they walked outside it was pitch black. Being winter in the southern hemisphere and being so far south, the sun set rather early. A large man in a dark coat carrying a lantern was standing by the "ghost tours" sign. A nametag said his name was Trevor. As they waited for the last of the tour to start, a cloudbank rolled in, setting the mood perfectly, and, although he would never admit it, caused Steve to shudder.

_Alright, it's just an hour and a half, how bad can it be?_ Steve scolded himself.

On the tour three people ran screaming from a haunted house claiming someone had grabbed their hair. One of them was Steve.

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** Ah, what an ending to this trip, I hope they had fun, and I hope you enjoyed reading!**


	7. Epilogue

**Ok, ok, I'll post an epilogue. I truly hope you've enjoyed this trip as much as our heroes!**

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Steve took one last gander over his work and shut his laptop. Eyeing his watch, he noticed they still had another 9 hours to go on the flight back to Dallas. Though he thought chronicalling their vacation would take most of the journey, once again he was proven wrong.

The last bit of the day's sun was peeking over the horizon, though it wouldn't be long before it appeared again. They were crossing the date-line just now, the begining of the same day they just came from. Steve was feeling jet-lagged just thinking about it.

The rest of the Avengers were zonked, having woke up at 4 am to catch an early flight out to Melbourne, then to Sydney a few hours later. Steve didn't anticipate reaching home until late this coming up evening. Pepper was sending Happy to pick them up, thank god, Steve didn't think anyone would be up for driving after this trip.

Gazing at his backpack, Steve decided to pull out his camera and flip through the photos. There were some from the reef, some from holding the koala in Kuranda, the 68 photos he wasted on that mesa (he rolled his eyes as he flipped through those), some from surfing, and some from hiking, but the last one was his favorite. Sure, he had just been scared out of his wits, but everyone's sincere smile made it totally irrelevant.

"I wonder where we'll go next year?" Steve wondered. "Hmmm...I hear Norway is great in the summer..."

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**So have I, Steve, so have I... Ser deg i Norge!**


End file.
